HAI, I AM GEORGE ONIMUSHA, FOUNDER AND RULER OF SHOGUNATE-ERA JAPAN. I STUFFED YOUR MOTHER-SAN'S HONORABLY TIGHT RICE PATTY WITH MY STUPENDOUSLY STOUT MAN-KATANA WHILE SHE WROTE DELICATE HAIKU POETRY ABOUT SUSHI. MY FUJI-LIKE WAKISHAZI PIERCED HER FINE SILK KIMONO AND POUNDED UPON HER INNARDS LIKE THE HOOVES OF A WARHORSE. SHE CAME SO HARD HER SCREAMS PIERCED PAPER WALLS IN EDO. I VOW UPON MY HONOR.

DAT IS VIES. YUK!